Today’s Redefining Resilience interview is with Kat Dinning and Cara Underwood - hosts of the OUT Podcast. Kat and Cara interview people from LGBT2SQIA communities all over the world about their coming out stories.
I’m an avid listener not only because they happen to be best friends of mine (with pictures of me pre-social media they could leverage)... I am also a fan of this podcast as a therapist, human and cisgender, white, hetero, bordering-on-middle-age mom of a 4 year old son.
On a spring day walking our dogs, I asked Kat if she’d be interested in redefining resilience as it relates to the coming out process. We’re trying to explore resilience as not just “bouncing back after adversity” but seeing it as the complex (and often messy) process that it is- the OUT podcast does a perfect job of this.
Why did you create this podcast? (4:39)
Cara describes coming out in her early 20s living in Saskatchewan:
“When I was younger, I couldn’t find any resources to make [gender + sexuality] normal for me.
“Resources were limited back then so I literally went to the library. There was no gay section. Nothing there.”
“Nothing resonated with who I was.”
She felt lost, alone and frustrated. Despite the erasure and censorship of queer experiences, Cara was able to patch together her plan to come out by listening to friends’ coming out stories. When she had more information and felt safe enough, she gradually and strategically came out to her loved ones and built a strong community over time.
Cara’s curiosity, openness, close relationships and perseverance helped build her resilience. Now that she feels more safe and confident, she’s turning her past trauma into purpose with the OUT Podcast. She hopes this podcast serves as a resource for anyone looking to understand their sexuality and gender.
Kat jumped at the chance to join Cara in producing this podcast. She wanted to use her coaching background and lived experience to support people throughout the world in the coming out process. Another reason she felt compelled to start the podcast was really because well, she could:
“Living in Canada and having the privilege of this platform felt right. Like part of my purpose.”
OUT Podcast: A master class on resilience
Cara and Kat have interviewed over 50 people so far on their unique stories of coming out. They host the show from a fun, casual and curious perspective - learning along with the listeners which is disarming and inspiring.
When OUT guests share their coming out stories, I’m always struck by the courage, creativity, ingenuity, and humility they have.
Guests have helped listeners understand that sometimes resilience is not coming out.
For example, many guests shared strategic and often innovative ways of staying safe “in the closet” in dangerous environments while being “out” with their close community.
For allies or folks in the LGBTQ2SIA communities, it’s never too late to learn more and make shifts in how you support our LGBTQ2SIA relatives.
Seeing as it’s all about me here (Cara + Kat rolling their eyes) I’ll share how listening to the podcast affects me as an ally and parent:
- Courage is contagious - the stories help me embrace the parts of myself that aren’t “acceptable” or celebrated in our society despite fear of the consequences
- Each episode helps normalize the coming out process, which will hopefully translate into better coming out experiences for the humans in our lives who haven’t come out yet
- I learn creative, hilarious and genuine ways to be a better ally and friend
- They’re ridiculous
Cara and Kat aren’t stopping anytime soon. They’re going to experience the vulnerability their guests have experienced and share their own coming out experiences. Kat explains:
“I figure our listeners might want to hear our coming out stories by now.”
Kat and Cara both shared their main fear of telling their stories - that they could potentially hurt some of the people in their lives who struggled to accept their identities. Despite their fear, their goal is to help moms/ dads/ grandparents/ siblings/ anyone to be a better listener and ally to our LGBTQ2SIA family.
If you want to hear more, you can access the OUT Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, IHeartRadio, TuneIn. To support the production of this podcast you can also become a Patreon.com/outpodcast member and get early access and some sweet swag.
Check out the interview here!